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Cryptocurrency is not merely a bad investment or speculative bubble. It’s worse than that: it’s a full-on fraud. Cryptocurrency is a scam. All of it, full stop — not just the latest pump-and-dump “shitcoin” schemes, in which fraudsters hype a little-known cryptocurrency before dumping it in unison, or “rug pulls,” in which a new cryptocurrency’s developers abandon the project and run off with investor funds.
Given that cryptocurrencies don’t produce anything of material value, this enormous waste of resources renders the whole enterprise a negative-sum game. Investors can only cash out by selling their coins to other investors — but only after the miners and various cryptocurrency service providers take the house’s rake. In other words, investors cannot — in the aggregate — cash out for even what they put in, as cryptocurrencies are inefficient by design.
This makes them a poor and costly form of currency and absolutely ludicrous as a long-term investment. We could dismiss them as a doomed experiment in the “greater fool” theory of investing, in which investors attempt to profit on overvalued or even worthless assets by selling them on to the next “greater fool” — think of it as gambling on a high-stakes game of musical chairs — if the rising price of Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies were simply a function of demand.
This isn’t the case. Price manipulation plays as much or more of a role than demand in driving prices higher.
I got a bitcoin for my birthday
But I don't know what to do
My bitcoin beanie baby
Really isn't very cute
Some say she is the future
Some say she will die soon
I may be a winner or a loser
But I will HODL her to the moon!
She's worth a million dollars
She's going up every day
They tell me to buy another
Before the billion dollar play
Maybe I'll just buy a pizza
And cash in all the rest
Say a little prayer to Jesus
Because I'll be truly blessed
Like the Dutch tulip
The pet rock
And the DOT.COM craze
The value of my baby
Is difficult to appraise
Popular delusion
Rockets her to the sky
The madness of the crowds
Makes her fly so high!
My bitcoin beanie baby
Is worth a lot
Until she's not
She's lives inside a bubble
That possibly will pop
I got a bitcoin for my birthday
Now I know what I will do
My bitcoin beanie baby
I will sell her to you!
My bitcoin beanie baby
I will sell her to you!