“Lazer Furniture Designer” (by Duran Duran Duran)
"In the future, we understand only the lazer. Polar ice cap melting has caused massive flooding, leaving very little dry land left on the earth, less than 10% of what there was 1000 years ago, most of it infested by vermin and disease, or guarded by heavily armed zombie aristocrats.
Giant squids control most of our planet, at least the watery regions we have now been banished to. They have evolved beyond humans and communicate by color change. Tentacle rape is a daily occurrence on the ocean front, tho not always unwelcome. Interspecies crossbreeding has so far been unsuccessful, though there are rumours of bastard mutant half breeds being born in the polluted ocean depths. Squids dissect and experiment on humans in their labs on the ocean floor. Young uncalcified human pineal glands fetch a hefty price on the squid black market. You can sometimes catch site of a squid in the throes of a pineal trip, oscillating between floating languidly along the surface like so much jetsam and flailing it’s arms wildly while changing it’s skin to a pink and white dotted formation which seems to breathe along with the waves.
While some of us have begun to evolve flippers instead of arms to deal with our new habitat, it becomes necessary for the rest of us to build more land, usually out of water that we have molecularly altered to stay solid at temperatures much higher than freezing. Massive ice castles protrude from the endless watery horizon, citadels shielding us against our squid overlords. The castles are cut from lazer. The same lazers we use to defend ourselves against the squids has also been altered for our creative purposes. I am a lazer furniture designer – the last of the true artisans.
Sometime in the 2700s humans began to perceive eachother as pure energy and art was no longer necessary, everything one ever could or needed to express was already visible to our naked eyes. We the furniture designers have developed an advanced system of lucid dreaming which takes us into the dark infinite regions of inner space. The images we bring back from these strange places are carved with lazer and sat upon, or have coffee rested upon. Some of us never come back."
Lazer Furniture Designer by Duran Duran Duran is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives (aka Music Sharing) License.